I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
