just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
