You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
