I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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