I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
