girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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