hotel room ftw
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
