I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
