Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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