and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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