Pappa wants mamma naked
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize