Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
