you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
