I'm jealous of your bromance
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
