I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
That accounts for only three of the penises
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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