READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
