you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
