Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
sex in a hospital.. check
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
