I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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