I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
