would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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