Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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