He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
