I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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