We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
