you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize