What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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