her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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