Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
