There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
