I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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