no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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