I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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