God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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