please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
