is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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