Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
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