the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
