It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
