it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
