Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
