Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We just shotgunned beers for America
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
