So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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