I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Small penises have feelings too.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize