the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
