my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
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