You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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