She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He better not be in your backpack
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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