Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
COCAINE IS GR8
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