You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
