so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize