i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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