Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
