bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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