im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Life is so much better after having sex.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Holy sore nipples Batman
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
