What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
