I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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