Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
