Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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