your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
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Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
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And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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