Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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