i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
