Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
