Plan B is the new Plan A
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Randomize
