I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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