So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
