let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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