I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
