The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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