And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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